Monday Musings: Change

I’ve been musing lately (when I am not sleeping) on the changes I’m having in my life. Recently my family made a decision that was hard for me, and really made me notice why I’m supposed to lean on God.

Friend stuff has been hard for a lot of my life in the past few years. Especially when my new church (one of the changes) is one of those places where everyone knows everyone else (and they have for years and years, too.) That being said, it can be very hard to break into that. I’ve really had to put myself outside of my comfort zone and be really outgoing and confident. This may come naturally while on stage, but not while meeting new people. :)

While reading the book Crazy Love (www.crazylovebook.com) I watched a video by Francis Chan. Called the “Awe Factor” video, this amazing display of stars is a reminder of God’s hugeness and our tinyness.

I watched this video and was amazed. If God is so big and so awesome, and I am so tiny, and the earth is so small and insignificant (but not to God), then who am I to care what people think of me? Who am I to pretend to be someone different because of my fear? This world is so elemental and unimportant compared to God.

This is what I wrote in my journal:

God’s love is so amazing! I can’t believe that the God who holds those countless stars in his hands could, and does, love me. Me, who killed his son by my sin. Me, who scorned him and cursed him. Me, who denied my sins that contradict his character so much. God love me. He has made this sinner his child. If the universe is so big and I am so small inside it, but God cares so much for me, how much should I care for my fellow man? But I scorn them and mock them. I call them names and curse them. 

Lord, give me a heart for people. Give me your eyes so I can see the world as you do. Give me your hands so that I can use them to glorify you. Give me your feet. Send me where I ought to go. Lord, I can’t even say what I am trying to say! Your love is so amazing!!! Please give me the courage to share it with others.

God, you are so good.

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