Monday Musings: Best of times, Worst of times

For writing this week, I had to compose a narrative. I decided to write on my moves and feelings. This is a very rough draft and hasn’t been edited yet, just fyi :)

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

I pointed my finger at heaven and accused God of not caring. In response, he gradually blessed me more than I could have ever imagined. Compared to many people, my life has been very hard. However, the hardships I have faced have made me who I am today, and in all of them, God has never left my side.

I lived in Virginia until I was ten years old. In 2006 my dad decided to buy a company. However, when company-buying searches proved fruitless because of the economy, he went back to job-hunting. Finally, in 2008, he received a job offer. I was almost eleven. I remember it so clearly. It was about nine-thirty in the evening, past my bedtime. I had climbed into bed, worried about rumors I had heard about my family moving. My mom came in to kiss me goodnight. I came right out and asked her, “Mommy, are we moving?”

She knew that I knew, so she told me. “Yes. We are.”

I struggled with that, to say the least. I locked myself in my closet crying. I was angry—at my mom, at my dad, at God. I remember distinctly hearing my mom say to me as I was in the closet, “Megan, don’t be angry at daddy or God because of this.”

The move was difficult, but it was a novelty. It was like going to a whole new world. Dad referred to it as ‘our great adventure’.  I was really heartbroken, but I was excited to see what was in store for us.

On June 23, 2008, we arrived in Stillwater, Minnesota. We rented a house: It was a big, empty, brick house. Much of our furniture was still in Virginia because we had not sold our house yet. Our house had a pool and 4 acres. We swam all summer. We made a series of forts in the woods called “Mulberry Town”. Our house was nice, but it was not home.

We bought a house a year after we moved to Minnesota. It was also a large brick house. This was the most gorgeous house I’ve lived in. I loved this house. Actually, I loved everything about Minnesota, and I still do. I had the amazing privilege of being able to ride horses in the county fairs and competitions. Life in Minnesota was simple. I was never rushed or hurried. Although there were hardships there, I see them now as blessings in disguise. Minnesota was my green pasture and still water until February of 2010.

In February of 2010, the company that  my dad worked at in Minnesota basically fell apart, due to the recession and other factors. My dad searched for a job in Minnesota, but God was not calling us there.  Wanting to move further east and reasoning that the search would be easier on the east coast, my dad, after much prayer, decided that God was calling us to move back to Virginia. Again, we rented a house, although this time it was a tiny, cookie-cutter, suburban house on the south side of Richmond.

This move was the harshest I had been through at that time. I am not the type of person who cries—in fact, I hardly ever cry. When we were in the midst of moving from Minnesota to Virginia, I cried at least once every day. I was leaving the best friends I had made in my whole life. Virginia was tough. My friends there had changed. I had changed. However, the hardest was yet to come.

In October of 2010, my dad got a job offer from Lititz Mutual Insurance in Lititz, Pennsylvania. He took it. We moved to Lititz on November 29, 2010. We rented a small, remodeled farmhouse. It was far away from town and we felt very isolated. I had absolutely no friends. That winter was the hardest season of my life that I have ever faced. We were in a new place; we had no idea what church we would go to or where we would live. We were renting a house, far away from everything. We visited some churches. I was unwilling to accept my parent’s decision regarding church. The church we attended for a year grew from a place I hated, to a comfortable place. In June of 2011, we bought a house much closer to the action. But God was not done yet. In April of this year (2012) God started calling us to switch churches. It was not very different for me because I had friends at the new church too. Actually, the church change gave me more friends. Now, almost two years after moving here, I am starting to feel at home and comfortable.

It’s amazing  how long it is, and yet it seems like yesterday. God’s faithfulness has been expressed to me in so many ways, so many times. I think that for the first time, I realized that He was actually there. Like He often does, God picked away my selfish independence and showed me how much I really needed him. I am so, so, so, so very thankful for the trials he has given me. If I could go back and redo my life, I would not change a thing. The hardships I have experienced have taught me that trusting God is the most important thing I can do. I look at my trials and then I look at God, and all the trials fade away compared to the awesome majesty of Him.

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